And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening came, he was there alone. But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary. And in the fourth watch of the night, Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, "It is a spirit," and they cried out for fear. But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, "Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid." And Peter answered Him and said, "Lord, if it is Thou, bid me come unto Thee on the water." And He said, "Come." And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, "Lord, save me." And immediately Jesus stretched forth His hand, and caught him, and said unto him, "O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?" And when they came into the ship, the wind ceased.
Matthew 14:23-32
When we opened the email from the IRS in 2015 and found out our identity had been stolen,
"contrary winds" began to blow in our lives, and the storm raged on for several months.
As we navigated through that troubled, difficult season, I can't say that we immediately recognized it was Jesus Who walked into the midst of our storm.
In all honesty, we felt God-forsaken and violated.
Our minds were full of questions and wondering why He would allow such a thing.
Before the turbulence began, we felt pretty stable.
Our house and land and possessions created a sense of security for us,
and we relied heavily upon credit to finance and provide that stability.
In other words, when the storm came up, we were inside "the boat," living the "American Dream."
Then the storm hit, out of nowhere, striking terror in our hearts and jeopardizing our safety nets.
At some point, through the clashing of the waves, we spotted Him.
We came to the realization that it was He Who allowed the storm in the first place,
and not only did He permit the trial, He orchestrated it.
As blind-sided as we were, it did not in any way catch Him by surprise,
and it was the only way He could wake us up to reality and get our eyes open.
When the truth began to dawn on us, we felt the same need for affirmation that Peter did,
and so many times, we sought the Lord earnestly in prayer, begging Him to make it clear to us that it really was Him, that His presence was still with us, and that it was His hand in control of the storm.
Looking back, it felt a lot like Peter asking,
"Lord, if it really is You, bid me come to You on the water."
Since that original call from Jesus to get out of the boat and come toward Him,
He has bid us come deeper and farther out into the water time after time.
Tracing His hand and looking back in retrospect, it reminds me of the passage in Ezekiel 47:3-5,
"And when the man that had the line in his hand went forth eastward, he measured a thousand cubits, and he brought me through the waters; the waters were to the ankles. Again he measured a thousand, and brought me through the waters; the waters were to the knees. Again he measured a thousand, and brought me through; the waters were to the loins. Afterward, he measured a thousand; and it was a river that I could not pass over: for the waters were risen, waters to swim in, a river that could not be passed over."
One safety net at a time, He has asked us to relinquish our sense of "control".
One by one, He has required us to cut shorelines and give up the very things we used to cling to so tightly for security.
Ankle-deep, then knee-deep, then waist-deep, then —suddenly, we can no longer touch bottom,
and we find ourselves in "waters to swim in."
We are way over our heads and far deeper into this thing called "trusting God and living by faith" than we have ever been.
I used to read this story and feel so frustrated as I thought of how Jesus was standing right in front of Peter, and yet, he still felt such fear.
I could not understand why Peter had such little faith when his faith was accompanied by sight.
After going through this long-lasting, hard trial, I have a whole lot more empathy for Peter,
because we haven't reacted any differently than he did all along the way.
I realize now that Peter was fine until he took his eyes off Jesus.
Once he began looking around and the reality of what he had done washed over him,
full-blown panic set in, and he forgot Who it was that called him out on the water in the first place.
Our current situation is completely opposite what the world around us dictates.
It makes no "human reasoning" sense to attempt to "walk on water" and to have no other reason for doing so other than reckless abandon obedience to the call of God.
It makes no "human reasoning" sense to attempt to "walk on water" and to have no other reason for doing so other than reckless abandon obedience to the call of God.
We are in a very unconventional place on so many levels, and it is when we focus on this that we start to overreact and feel ourselves going under.
As long as keep our eyes on Jesus and His power to rise above the water and walk on it as if it were solid ground, we feel a sense of peace.
I look back over the past three years, and my heart is grateful for the trial.
Had it not been for God sending the wake-up alarm, we would still be living a life of underlying misery.
We would never have dealt with the spiritual root issues that caused us to become so indebted, overladen with excess, and self-reliant.
Jesus is out here...in the deep.
We are finding Him to be all we need.
We are proving His faithfulness.
Though we don't know how to "swim", we feel a deep-seated peace and assurance knowing that
"the eternal God is our refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms."
Deuteronomy 33:27
Jesus is out here...in the deep.
We are finding Him to be all we need.
We are proving His faithfulness.
Though we don't know how to "swim", we feel a deep-seated peace and assurance knowing that
"the eternal God is our refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms."
Deuteronomy 33:27
If you would like to read more about the spiritual lessons He has taught and is still teaching us,
please visit us at our new blog, Biblical Minimalism.
I would love to have you follow along!
Dear, sweet friend and fellow-blogger Debby reminded me of this song in a comment a few blog posts back, and oh, my, it really, really expresses our current journey and situation.
I have gained a whole new appreciation for the words to this song.
Oceans ~ Hillsong United
Will you dare to climb out of your "boat" at Jesus' command?
Are you willing to follow Him to where it no longer feels safe?
How much do you trust Him?
Will you dare to climb out of your "boat" at Jesus' command?
Are you willing to follow Him to where it no longer feels safe?
How much do you trust Him?