Saturday, March 30, 2019

A New Revelation of Jesus & My First Blog "Chat"

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."  
I John 4:18  

I have been going through some hard places, and during the trials, I have felt completely God-forsaken.  I know, in reality, I am not and that will never be, but, oh, we can feel that way sometimes, can't we?  I have longed for an intense visit from Holy Spirit, and oh, praise His name, today He came to me with powerful anointing and such an overflow of blessing.  I do not know who was praying for me during the time from around 12:45 to 2:04 pm today, 3/30/2019, but if that was YOU, I say thank you from the depths of my heart!  Perhaps it was no person, in particular, but maybe it was because He just saw the deep agony and longing in my inmost soul—for HIM.  To fill me.  To take the fear away.  To renew a right spirit within me.  To renew my mind and set me free from the weight of heaviness and burdens I have been carrying.  He is REAL, my friends.  I know you know that.  I know each of you have enjoyed and basked in your own relationship with Him and you, too, have felt those times of refreshing spoken about in Acts 3:19.

In the book, "Biblical Minimalism," I talk about how in January of 2011, I developed a desire to KNOW Christ like never before.  I knew Him, but I wanted to know Him more.  I wanted to know Him better.  My desire was overwhelming.  It was my constant pursuit.  From that desire sprang much soul-searching, which in turn, brought about many life changes including a minimizing journey (you can read more about our journey by visiting our other blog, Biblical Minimalism), that has freed my little family and me of much bondage.  The process has been painful to the flesh on many occasions and levels, but oh, the spiritual freedom and transformation it has wrought!  I wouldn't change or redo a thing that God has brought us through these past years, and to God be ALL glory!

I am amazed at how my January 2011 desire continues to deepen and expand.  The more I come to know Jesus, the more about Him I want to know.  The more He reveals Himself to me, the more I long for deeper and wider revelation.  Today, was one of those times.  A precious visit.  He was here. Restoring, renewing, revealing the ugliness of my own nature.  Showing me truth I had been unable to see and unprepared to accept—until today.  He knows when we are truly honest and ready to receive what He so wants to tell us and reveal.

Sin is so ugly.  We cringe and draw back from light shining upon it.  But there comes a time we are so sick and ready to change that we open that closed door wide and unbridled, and we WANT the truth and we want to know Jesus more than we want to go on hiding.  Today, precious Holy Spirit shone the light on my sin of bowing and cowering to fear.  I was ashamed.  Mortified, as He didn't hold back, but told me the absolute sinfulness of my condition.  Why are we afraid of being exposed?  Why do we try to hide our sin in the corner, behind a locked door, thinking God does not see?  He sees through closed, locked doors as if they were not there.

I guess I never wanted to call my lifelong fear issue SIN.  Who wants to call it that?  It really doesn't matter what we call it or how we justify it, if we are bowing down to and serving FEAR, instead of believing and trusting God, we are sinning.  Revelation 21:7-8 proves my point and hit me like a ton of bricks today.  "He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be My son.  But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."

Fear, as an emotion, is a natural, helpful reaction and protection mechanism.  But, bowing down to and obeying the SPIRIT of fear is a whole other ballgame.  This is the "fearful" that is spoken about in Revelation 21.  God revealed so much to me today and in the days leading up to today.  My dear husband and son have been so patiently working with me, talking to me, listening to me pour out the inmost dregs of my soul, watching the torment I have been whipped by for so long, and they have prayed over and for me multiple times.  Today, I saw the answer to those prayers come down like a shower of blessing falling upon my soul enshrouded by a calming, overwhelming enveloping of Holy Spirit's presence in my private devotions.

Revelation 12;11 says, "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony..."  I SO want to be an overcomer!  Though it was very uncomfortable for me to be so transparent and share my heart so intimately, I felt like God wanted me to voice my story audibly to you today, so you will find a link to my version of a podcast below.  Perhaps some of you can relate to my failures and struggles, and maybe you can find hope in knowing you are not alone.  This is my first attempt at posting a personal recording for the blog, so please excuse my lack of eloquence and the absence of bells and whistles.  Maybe if it happens again, I can figure out a way to make it a bit fancier and even add some of my original music!  😁

To listen, click HERE.

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to and read what the Lord lays upon my heart.
May the Lord bless each one of you readers, in Jesus' name!