Thursday, April 20, 2023

"My Cross"

 "And He said to them all, 'If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.'" Luke 9:23

Looking back over my life and all the seasons I have walked through with the Lord, I would have to say that I was in one of the most difficult, challenging ones I ever faced when I wrote a song called, "My Cross."

I distinctly remember the day I wrote it and can see the scene so clearly in my mind. Zach was little, running around playing between the pews, as I vacuumed the floor of the church we attended.

Rewind to a few months before. We were at the end of an annual church camp meeting, and instead of canceling the Sunday night service following the last Sunday morning of the meeting as was their normal custom, a visiting minister had expressed a desire to hold a teaching service that Sunday evening. As I sat there listening to him pour out the burden on his heart, my soul was deeply stirred. His subject matter revolved around spiritual gifts. 

The seed fell on good ground (Mark 4:8), as God had already been dealing with me, breaking up the fallow ground (Hosea 10:12), softening my heart to the idea of what He was getting ready to call me to do. For quite some time, He had been preparing the soil in my soul for that very Sunday night message. Even though the discourse was more of a teaching than preaching that elicited an altar call, by the time that minister returned to his seat, I nearly flew to the altar at the front of that church. I wanted one of those spiritual gifts. My soul longed to be in the service of the One who bled and died for me, and I was willing to do whatever He asked to satisfy that longing. I had been serving Jesus for many years, but the call to deeper dedication was real.

As I knelt at that altar, I remember saying something like. "Lord, I consecrate myself to you. I will do anything and everything you ask me to." I meant every word. God knew.

When we make that level and intensity of consecration, God will not waste it. He will take a willing, albeit marred, vessel and fill it to capacity, but not without breaking it first and remolding it into what He needs it to be. 

"Then I went down to the potter's house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it." Jeremiah 18:3,4

The process of being "made again" on the Potter's wheel is quite a painful one and requires the measure of pliability as lies within a lump of clay. Becoming like clay in the Potter's hand necessitates total, complete surrender. Self has to die, and that requires a cross.

The original Greek word for "cross" in Luke 9:23 is stauros. It literally means—
"the crosspiece of a Roman cross; the cross-beam placed at the top of the vertical member to form a capital "T." "This transverse beam was the one carried by the criminal" (Souter)." Source

I find it interesting that Jesus was talking to His disciples about taking up their cross daily in order to follow Him long before He physically hung on an old, rugged cross. Jesus' whole life was about carrying a cross. Leaving the splendor of heaven to come down and not only die for our sins but live out a 33-year span of time in a body of flesh that suffered, cried, grieved, ached, and endured temptation required unsurpassed sacrifice, and the daily taking up and bearing of a cross.

Anyone who has lived a Christian life for any length of time can attest to the fact that following Jesus continually demands things of us that cut across the grain of what our flesh wants to do. Endeavoring to walk in His footsteps will demand a daily relinquishing and putting to death of one's own preferences and stubborn will. As was the case each time He spoke a word, there's a good reason He listed self-denial as a prerequisite to "taking up our cross."

The thing God called me to do shortly after my trip to the altar that Sunday evening turned into a several-year-long ministry that purged me in ways I could never have imagined, as time after time I was broken and stumbled under the weight of my cross. 

As I stood there vacuuming that day, dog-tired and bone-weary, God poured the words and music to this song over me like a soothing balm. I hope it ministers to you in the same way as you listen.

Praise God forevermore for the sacrifice Jesus made for us on the cross! And how I thank Him for being willing to take up His daily cross as He lived out life as one of us. His stellar, sinless example and ultimate triumph prove that we can make it, too.

Whatever the weight and composition of your cross, I pray you sense His presence with you today.

23 comments:

  1. Oh, Cheryl, your song deeply touched my heart, my friend! We all have the crosses we are asked to bear for the coming of His kingdom, and we should do so willingly, even though there will be pain and troubles along the way. Let us keep in mind that one day, we will lay down our cross at His feet.
    Blessings to you and yours!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Martha, I am so thankful my song deeply touched your heart! Many blessings to you and yours, too, sweet friend.

      Delete
  2. This is so very beautifully and powerfully written and sung, Cheryl! I've never seen it fail in my life either - as soon as I commit to the Lord, He tests me to see if I'll keep my vow. His blessings though, always outweigh the sorrows and trials. I know your heart was so broken when you wrote this song, yet, God has been with you in every step of the journey with Him. He is so faithful, what a loving Savior He is! My prayers and love are with you always dear friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Marilyn, thank you for your kind words! You are such a dear encouragement to me on this Christian journey, and I praise God for your friendship, prayers, encouragement, and unfailing support. May God bless you always. My prayers and love are with you always, too, dear friend.

      Delete
  3. Cheryl, thank you for sharing the story behind this beautiful song! As you know, surrendering and giving my all on the altar, has been a struggle, but a deep need as well. How wonderful it is to know that Jesus understands what it's like to carry a cross. I'm so thankful for His love! God bless you, dear friend!
    Love,
    Valentine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Valentine, I am so thankful for your sweet visit and kind words. Denying the flesh and laying our all on the altar surely is a deep struggle for all of us, but oh, the victory that comes when we do! I pray He richly blesses you, too, sweet friend. Sending much love your way today!

      Delete
  4. Cheryl, the story behind the song is so meaningful. The song is beautiful and thank you for sharing your gifts with us. May God continue to bless you and your family, my dear friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Pam, thank you so much for your kind words. I am so thankful you enjoyed the song. I trust the Lord will continue to bless you and your family, too, sweet friend!

      Delete
  5. Dear Cheryl, thank you so much for sharing your beautiful song and the inspiration that you've given here. I pray that I will continue to walk in that surrender too! Blessings and love and prayers for you dear friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Bettie, I so appreciate your sweet comment! You walk so beautifully in that surrender, my friend. Your life for God is a constant encouragement and inspiration to me. Many blessings, much love, and prayers for you, too, dear friend.

      Delete
  6. Thank you for sharing your story, Cheryl. Knowing what prompted the writing of "My Cross" makes the song even more precious to me. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Warm, gentle hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Nancy, your kind words are so appreciated! I am so thankful the song is precious to you, and I am so grateful for your thoughts and prayers for me. It means the world to me, and I pray God will richly bless you. Sending those same hugs back your way today, sweet friend.

      Delete
  7. You always so richly bless us with your stories behind your beautiful songs, my friend. My Cross is so poignant and we all must remember to be disciples and take up our crosses, too, just as Jesus did for us to save us. Prayers and love sent to you, Cheryl.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Kitty, I am so thankful for your sweet encouragement and so grateful you enjoyed My Cross. I am sending prayers and much love to you, too, dear friend.

      Delete
  8. sometimes you just KNOW that God is calling you to something deeper, more profound, more holy than ever before. saying 'yes' without knowing every last detail is freedom and joy. thanks for sharing this, friend ...
    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Linda, yes, it is so true that when God calls us into those places of deeper surrender, we just know. I was just telling Kevin and Zach that so often, He calls me like that, and I do not know exactly what I am consecrating to until later. You are so right—saying "Yes" does bring so much freedom and joy. It is bliss to live in a way where I have taken my hands off and can just lean into whatever HE deems is best. Sending love and hugs to you today, sweet friend.

      Delete
  9. So beautiful Cheryl, you are truly gifted. The story behind the song is amazing. Thank you for sharing your talent with us. Blessings

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Linda, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words and encouragement! I am so grateful for your sweet visit. Many blessings to you, too, my friend!

      Delete
  10. Yes! Yes! Yes! You write: Endeavoring to walk in His footsteps will demand a daily relinquishing and putting to death of one's own preferences and stubborn will." Straining and striving because I think from the seat of my selection of preferences and my own experiences of choices for will - when my knowledge and experience is short-sighted and inexperienced compared to His. I'm learning slowly to let Him lead and I will follow. He knows so much more than me! Thank you for The Story Behind the Song - and the moving song! Shalom, my friend! Thank you for sharing your heart. It encourages me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Maryleigh, my apologies for being so long in responding to your sweet comment. Thank you so much for your kind words! They ministered to me when I first saw them, and again tonight, as I reread them. Shalom to you, and may the Lord bless your day tomorrow. I hope your husband has a wonderful Father's day.

      Delete
  11. Hi Cheryl, This was a good reminder for me that these fiery trials I have been going through is actually the Lord doing a work in me to remold me to be fit for the service He has set aside for me. That I must look at this through an eternal lens, not one of feeling defeated, but feeling victorious in knowing that when God is finished, I will stand victorious, in His service, for His glory.

    Your hymn was beautiful!! Your lyrics drew me in. God has certainly gifted you dear friend. Such a ministry you have and one that I have been blessed to be at the receiving end of for many years now.

    Thanking God for you Cheryl,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Karen, I am so thankful this was a good reminder for you, and I can't thank you enough for your kind words and support. You are such a dear blessing to me, and so often, your words have lifted me. I love and appreciate you and trust your burdens are lessening.

      Delete
  12. Beautiful photograph with Orange Sky, and beautiful reflexions in your post. To have serenity is important for mind and Spirit.

    ReplyDelete