Monday, June 25, 2012

A Time To Laugh

"A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance..."
Ecclesiastes 3:4 (KJV)

Today, Zachary and I laughed and laughed.

After many weeks of tears...flowing like a was our laugh. the expense of it seeming that our sense of humor is greatly warped,
I will explain why.

I was walking in the yard, I stepped into a hole that our dogs had dug,
and you guessed it.
Down I went!

On my way down, I grabbed for a lawn chair.
Resting on the chair, were several of Zachary's action figures,
a tin that he keeps them in,
the phone,
and my glasses.

As you can very well imagine,
when I grabbed the chair,
it went down, too,
and everything on it went flying through the air,
glasses and all.

At first, I heard Zachary praying.
It scared him.
"Oh, dear Lord, have mercy.
Lord, help her."

When he got closer to where I was, I looked at him...
from my sprawling position on the ground, I might add....
and we both burst into uncontrollable laughter.

We have laughed about it many times since.
As we were relaying the story to his Daddy, we had to laugh again.
It was just downright funny.

It feels good to laugh.
To smile.
To experience the emotion of happiness.

Even more so, when you haven't done that in a while.

And even though, at the end of the laughter, our hearts still ache,
we are finding more and more opportunities to laugh.
And we are seizing those chances...with all our might.

Solomon understood this emotion when he spoke these words recorded in Proverbs 14:13 (KJV),

"Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful; and the end of that mirth is heaviness."
(Emphasis mine.)

I'm glad the initial shock of grief is over.
Though I still find myself back at square that stage now and then,
God is helping me.
When I find myself there these days, I recover a bit more quickly ...
than I did in the beginning.

We can all find reasons to smile.

And even though God took someone so precious and dear to Zachary's heart and all of our hearts,
there are many reasons left to rejoice.

Zachary and Mom used to have a time together.
Acting silly.
They had a funny little game they would play when they thought no one was listening.
They would communicate with a dialect very hard to understand!
It was their own little made-up language.

We miss her so much, it hurts....deep inside.
Sometimes, the emotional pain washes over us like an overwhelming flood.
I can go from laughing hysterically to crying with the same intensity in a matter of seconds.

The smallest things remind me of her.
Just about everything reminds me of her.
I cannot believe she is gone.

I take so much comfort in the words of our dear Savior....all of His words speak such peace to me.
I love and honor Him so much.
I especially love to read where He spoke a special blessing on those who cry.

"Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh." (Emphasis mine.)
Luke 6:21 (KJV)

The Psalmist said it this way,
"...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."
Psalm 30:5 (KJV)

It is amazing how the mind works.
We can be so consumed with our grief, that even when something funny happens,
we feel a sense of guilt for laughing.
Like we are being disrespectful to the one who has passed away.

I'm thankful God is moving us along....through the stages.
Through this season of grief.
A kind lady told me the other day,
"You'll never get over this...but you will get through it."

I heard another man say that the feelings that come from losing a loved one
are similar to the feelings of an amputee.
You feel like a part of you is cut off.
But, even though a part of you is missing,
you continue to live and go on.

You will never be the same, but you do go on.

Proverbs 17:22 (KJV) says,
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones."

We all reach places of brokenness.
Brokenness of spirit.
How good that God doesn't leave us there!
He allows things to happen that make us laugh.
That make our hearts feel merry.
That are so funny, we have no choice....but to succumb to the hilarity and just let go....
with a hearty laugh.

Like Zach and I did today.
It was so hilarious.
Zach later said,
"I wish I had that on video!"

How grateful I am that he doesn't!

I think I'll be content to just have the memory.
It will make us laugh each time we remember.
And though I am a bit sore, I'm glad I fell.

It made my heart merry.
The medicine surely did its job.

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