Wednesday, March 28, 2012

All We Need To Know

"As thou knowest not what is the way of the spirit, nor how the bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child:  even so thou knowest not the works of God Who maketh all."  Ecclesiastes 11:5 (KJV)

We sat trying to put our heads together, trying to figure them out.  

Zachary's math problems....they get harder by the day.

And although I had the answers, right there in plain view, in the score key, that just wasn't enough for me.  I wanted to know the "whys" and "wherefores".  It seemed that there was no consistency in a certain line of problems he had been working on, and I wanted to figure out why.

All at once, the light came on, and Zachary said, "Mama, I got it!  I think I understand!"  He then went on to try his utmost to explain it to me.  

It just wasn't clicking.  

He was patient, and after trying several times to make me see the logic, he looked at me, patted my arm, and sweetly said, 
"Mama, it's okay.  Really.  Just so I get it.  You don't have to understand."

Such wisdom he spews from his young mouth!

I guess I don't really have to understand the "ins" and "outs" of geometry.  Obviously, whatever I learned all those years ago, has long-since escaped me since I never used the information again.

But, it still bugs me.  I still want to figure out why sometimes it works out one way, and sometimes it works out another.  And why there seems to be no rhyme or reason running throughout a series of certain types of problems.  

I am very thankful God has blessed Zachary with a sharp, brilliant mind, so easy and quick to catch on to new information.  It is such a blessing and privilege to homeschool this little is one of the greatest joys of my life.  I am so enjoying re-learning things with him; actually, most of it is like learning it for the very first time.  I love and cherish every minute of it.

The one-on-one time we spend together doing school is the very best part of all.  For that period of time, we truly connect, and that makes homeschooling all worthwhile.  I wouldn't want it any other way...ever.

As I sat there listening to him reassuring me that it was okay, that it really wasn't necessary for me to learn it...just so he gets it, my thoughts began to wander to the puzzles and mysteries of life.

I always need to analyze things.  I just seem to have this driving need to know why things happen the way they do, and I am driven to figure out all of the inconsistencies and things that do not make sense.  

Do I really need to have all the answers?  Is it necessary that I have a logical explanation for all of the happenings and details of life?  Why do I feel this need to analyze it all?

God knows every "why" and "wherefore".  Nothing is coincidence or happenstance with Him.  He has a pattern, a plan, and it all makes perfect sense...from His point of view.  He understands it all.

And from His viewpoint, He assures me that everything is going to be okay.

So, even if I can't explain things, even if the rhyme and reason just cannot be found, even if I never have the answers, just so He understands...isn't this all that matters?

Why do I struggle so?

The answer hits me like a ton of bricks.

The antidote...the cure....lies in one word.


I'm acceptance-challenged.

I have a hard time accepting things I do not understand.  I struggle to just take things for what they are...and then let them go.  I want all to be right in the world...right...from the way I see things.  And that is truly not possible.  Because my view is very limited.  I can only see....well, what I can see.

I see a long string of unresolved issues.  I see a crooked path, with no consistency.  I see mystery and unexplained answers.  And I can make no sense at all out of most of it.

Mom used to have a wooden book that sat on a stand on our coffee table.  It was carved to look like it was open, and on its open "pages" was written the beautiful Serenity Prayer.  Remember it?

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."

I've always found the courage to try to change things.  I seem to have no trouble in that area.  When I really know what I need to do, I draw strength from my Creator, and I do it.  I'm not so capable in the "wisdom to  know the difference" category.  I seem to think I need to figure everything out and change both the things I can change and at least attempt to change the things I can't.

We will never know it all.  We will never understand it all.  We will never be able to figure everything out.  We aren't supposed to.  We aren't God.  He is all-knowing.

I am learning as I go that God only gives me information on a need-to-know basis.

He is not going to overwhelm me with more than I can handle...all at once.

He'll let me know what I truly need to know.  The rest He will handle and take care of, and I may never know why He does what He does.

Solomon, with all of his wisdom, wrote in today's verse...."even so thou knowest not the works of God who maketh all."  With all of the intelligence, understanding, and wisdom he had, Solomon had to stand back and acknowledge that we will never be able to figure it all out.

So, the sooner I realize this and accept it, along with all of the things I cannot change, the better off I will be.  Some things are just way bigger than you and I.  They will never make sense to us.

But, they make perfect sense to God.

And, truly....that is all we need to know.

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